there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
