Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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