Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
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