pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
only you would photoshop your dick
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
