she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
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