i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
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