We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
time to smoke my breakfast
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
