hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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