Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
