I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
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