the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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