he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
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Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
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Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
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