I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
