Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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