also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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