Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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