yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
