He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Randomize