Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
