Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
