Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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