there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
