3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
