The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
She announced her abortion via fbk
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Houston, we have a blender
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
