Quick, to the slutcave!
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
