Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
My dick has a subreddit
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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