smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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