What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize