I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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