anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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