God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
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you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
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I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
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