these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
