The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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