so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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