Your dad touched me again.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize