break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
