I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
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