So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
