Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize