Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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