Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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