**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
