i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
