what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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