WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
