If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
