when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
