your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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