Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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