I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
