If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
