Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
