So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize