Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
