is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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