I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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