apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
