Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize