Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
