just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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