Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
