First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
